My Bali Experience – Day 1! Nik Star 5 Day Spiritual Retreat….

Notes taken from Bali – JUNE 2012

The Diary of a Feminine Entrepreneur
The First Evening – June 1, 2012

'Dealing with Vulnerability'

Well here I am. Finally in BALI, on a SPIRITUAL retreat. Eek – better start thinking about what am I hoping to get out of this?

Here it goes…(in no particular order)
                  – To run less on my adrenalin
–                        – To fully heal a recovering, broken heart   
                  – To open my heart to new love, un-encumbered by the past
                  – To feel a deeper, stronger connection to spirit
                          – To align my business to what makes my heart sing – get rid of the crap that’s no longer necessary
                  – To feel a deep connection to my purpose
                  – To feel beautiful again – inside and out
                  – To connect my feminine power

A BIG list I know!

The diary of a ‘Feminine’ Entrepreneur comes to mind….so I’m going to run with this for now.

It has been a Life long dream of mine to go to Bali – something ‘other’ people do, I’ve always been too busy with my business.

Then I thought – What would really happen if I disappeared for a week? Would the world really stop spinning?
First Impressions:

The Y Resort is beautiful – Bali is beautiful, everything I had hoped for and more…. I cannot take the smile off my face :)
I feel a sense of achievement at even being here – why had I denied myself for so long? I have had a physical longing to be here for so long. 

Mental note: When your heart aches for something unknown – It’s usually God placing his hand on your back, giving you a gentle nudge.

Dealing With My Vulnerability
Sitting here with a group of practical strangers (Shaune and Tamika are here thank goodness) – I am actually TERRIFIED when the reality of what I am embarking on, sets in.

Spiritual retreat – what does that even mean?

New people, strangers – what will they see in me that I don’t know yet? Why did I just not come for a holiday to Bali? In this moment I want to go home – a spiritual retreat feels too confronting. I have flown half way around the world on a whim and I have no idea what to expect.

My nerves start to calm down as I start to look INTO (not just AT them) these strangers in front of me and LISTEN to what they are saying. Beautiful stories – I feel my heart already opening to them… Okay – I can do this!

This has been a big issue for me in the past and HITS me like a hammer, sitting in front of the other attendees. I realize how this impacts my business too. For years I have run my business and relationships with masculine energy – too afraid to show any vulnerability, feeling like I needed to fight and push for every success. Not trusting!

When I moved into my own business – it was such an easy pattern to pick up and run with. People told me – ‘Don’t tell people you are struggling, it’s BAD for business.’ But what happens now I am more successful? Do I pretend it just happened ‘overnight’ because I am so smart and talented? ☺

Is it okay to share your past journey – letting everyone know that all WAS NOT okay? My learning has to be the greatest gift for my community of women in business. I’m reminded of Sue Papadoulis and her recent PR talk. Many women can and do resonate with Sue, because of her candid, authentic and emotional show of vulnerability.

So here is what is coming up for me, as I am embark on this spiritual retreat in Bali – Take the courageous step and be VULNERABLE Kylie, expose yourself and share your journey. It’s what other women want to hear!

Big Lesson for Day 1 already – I feel immense GRATITUDE for this CLARITY!

(PLEASE NOTE: 6 MONTHS ON – I am in true feminine alignment with my business and purpose. I will talk more about this over the coming posts. I share my personal story, including my initial business struggles in ALL my presentations. The feedback and connection this has created with my community, is extraordinary )

YOUR Thoughts on Vulnerability…

How do you feel about vulnerability? Is there a place for this in business? What about in life? If or when does it feel staged or unauthentic for you?